Category: God is Good

Why you should marry the Nice Guy…

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So we all know The Nice Guy, right? How many of you have dated The Nice Guy? Now how many of you have dumped The Nice Guy or not even date him because he was The Nice Guy?
It’s ok, I passed on The Nice Guy in high school too. I dated the Bad Boy who then turned into the Abuser but after that I still avoided The Nice Guy. I did date one Nice Guy and ended up breaking up with him because…he was too nice. I dated The Cowboy, The Athlete, The Gay Guy but passed up The Nice Guy. Why? Why do we pass up The Nice Guy and why do we break up with him because “he’s too nice”. Why?!

I finally gave The Nice Guy a shot…when I was in my late twenties, after being single for years and really had nothing to lose. I ended up marrying that Nice Guy and have an amazing life with him. And I hope and pray that one day my daughter finds her a Nice Guy too.

If you know my husband, you will agree he’s the nicest guy out there. Would help you in a bind, never meets a stranger, he’s just nice. I was scared of his “niceness” at first. It threw me off. Why was he so nice? What did he want? What was he trying to get from me?

He was nice because that’s who he is. He wanted to build a relationship with me. He was trying to get me to trust and love him. He succeeded.

I often take for granted my Nice Guy and I have to stop and remember how blessed I am to finally have a good guy. For years, I didn’t believe good guys existed or that I deserved one.I think too often we take for granted the Nice Guys out there.And I’m not talking about guys who are nice by buying you things or sending you flowers or taking you on trips, etc., yes those are nice “things” but I’m talking about the nice things money can’t buy.

I’m talking about the Nice Guy who leaves an I love you note on your vanity so you see it first thing when you get up in the morning, I’m talking about the Nice Guy who will randomly tell you look beautiful while wearing sweats and no makeup but he completely means it, I’m talking about the Nice Guy who prays for you out loud because he truly appreciates you. That’s nice.

I can count on my two hands the number of times I’ve done dishes. I don’t have to beg my husband to change a dirty, explosive diaper. I hear my husband pray for me every day. I hear I love you the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night before I go to bed. I never doubt the love my husband has for our Lord, for me and for our daughter. That’s nice.

I remember when our daughter was just around 6 weeks old and would not go to sleep and I had tried everything; nursed her, rocked her, sang to her but nothing would work. I was getting frustrated and defeated and right when I was about to break, I heard my husband’s voice say “give her to me, go sleep.” I literally collapsed in bed & didn’t wake for another 4 hours when I needed to nurse her. He rescued me that night from feeling like a failure. The next morning he simply hugged & kissed me & said I was an amazing mother. That’s nice.

And he continues to rescue me, praise & support me. When I told him about wanting to quit my job, he wasn’t worried or upset & didn’t say no we can’t do that, he said “I want you to be happy & I know you’re not. If I have to live off sandwiches for the next year I’ll do it. I want you to be happy, that’s what matters to me.” That’s nice.

Now I don’t want women to think he’s the best husband ever & does nothing wrong. Or men to be like “thanks now my wife is saying why can’t you be more like him?!” Does he do things to drive me crazy? Absolutely! Just last night, I sent him to the grocery store (I know I know, why do you send a man to the grocery store but the Emmy’s were on) and he came back with half of the wrong items & I had to go exchange them at 10 at night. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve repeated stories to him because he doesn’t listen & how many times he’s put my workout clothes or bras in the dryer (yup he does laundry too ☺️) or the number of times he leaves the diaper wipes container open & dries out the wipes. But you know what-those are little things, those might drive me crazy but it’s nothing compared to what I went through in the past. And that’s nice.

He’s not perfect, no one is. But I’ve learned you shouldn’t expect perfect, you shouldn’t want perfect. Perfection is nonexistent in a man or woman.

But you know what you can expect…for some guys to just be nice. And when that Nice Guy comes around, don’t be so quick to brush him off. Give him a chance. God may have just sent that Nice Guy your way because you do deserve a Nice Guy. Who knows, you could end up not doing dishes ever again ….and that’s nice.😉

Change.

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The last month at church, the message has stuck me every Sunday and pulled at my heart. Today the message: Change. And again, I felt God letting me know everything will be ok. Everything that is taking place in my life right now is needed. Change is needed.

My last day at my full time job was Friday. Ironically/coincidentally it was almost exactly a year from when I went back to work full time. Halfway through the day, I received an email with my test scores. I was nervous. It was a hard test and I haven’t taken a test in years so I had prepared myself that I might have to take it again. I opened the email and before it loaded my scores, I said a little prayer. And again, God showed me His way, His plan to just trust in Him. I passed. I PASSED! I was so relieved. I thanked God and happily helped unpack offices and rooms I would never step foot in again without any complaints. I felt reassured yet again. And again I asked for forgiveness in doubting His plan.

As I left that day, I had this weird feeling. I wasn’t sad or mad or even hurt but disappointed in a way. I had  high hopes for that job and wanted to make it a career. I felt good about my decision so I was confused as to why I had these strange feelings, but then I turned on my Christian station and Hillary Scott’s song “Thy Will” came on and again God reassured me. Everything is happening just the way He wants and what He wants for my life.

So I have now passed my content test to teach High School Journalism, halfway through my online alternative teaching certification program and have already accepted some sub jobs for the month and have some playdates with friends on the calendar. His plan is moving along and I know it won’t be easy all the time and I will still go back to worrying and stressing at times, but when I do I’ll go back to His Word, go back to prayer and keep remembering…Thy Will be Done.

 

 

His Plans

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I’m a Christian and have a strong faith to follow His plans. Let me rephrase that; I try to have a strong faith in following His plans for me. It’s hard because I like to control things. I like having a plan and sticking to it and knowing what the outcome will be, no surprises, no setbacks, it’s safe and secure.

Well, that’s all nice and sounds great however; God is in control and His plans for us cannot be controlled by us. I’m constantly amazed by His plans for me and you would think with all the blessings He has bestowed on me, I would have better faith. But I’m not perfect and I struggle daily with just having faith He will provide. He WILL provide.

He has been talking to me for awhile now and I’ve listened but kinda told Him “I hear you, but it’s not the right time. Just give me another day, month, year.” I have thought He has sent me to where He wanted but I think I have known deep down it’s not what He wanted for me but what I thought I needed for my life. I must have faith but not only that I must act on it.

“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” James 2:17

Every time I’ve questioned something major in my life, lacked faith in something, I feel He has sent someone to help me (because He knows how stubborn and impatient I am). I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years and through it all, I had the same best friend. She never called me stupid for staying with my abuser, she never stopped talking to me even when I would shut her out, she never gave up on me. I believe God put her in my life because He knew I would need her and that one day I would listen to her. She met my husband in college and instantly knew he was perfect for me. She tried for 7 years (kinda ironic how long it took and how long I was in that abusive relationship) to set us up. She never said we would be great to date or to just give him a chance, she always said we were going to get married. Well, 7 years later we ended up less than 2 hours from each other and I said yes to a date with him. I said yes to a date with him the week I told my room mate I was going to move back home. Home being 6 hours away. But something pulled at my heart to just say yes, just go on one date.

We just celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary in July and have an amazing, beautiful 14 month old daughter. That was all His plan, not mine. I had given up on love, on getting married and never thought I would be deserving enough to be a mother; that was my plan. Again, His plans are so much more greater than what I could have imagined.

So now why do I worry so much? I hear Him loud and clear, I feel it in my heart what to do, I know He will provide but I’m still scared. I’m still worried. I’m still doubting my faith and I know that’s wrong. I ask for forgiveness and strength. I ask for reassurance that I’m hearing Him and not just doing what I want, but what He wants for me. But I still worry.

What is His plan for me?

Stay tuned….