I’ve seen a lot of social media buzz on the new Netflix series, “Maid”. I added it to my list not really knowing too much but as the week has gone, I’ve noticed more and more about it. So this morning, while the kids played and I got my cup of coffee and caught up on balancing our finances, I.e. what used to be called balancing your checkbook, I turned on Netflix and hit play.

1:30 into the first episode, I felt the hair stand up on my neck, goosebumps on my arms and tears filled my eyes. This show is real. This show depicts all parts of DV. It depicts the stigma of “fake abuse”. It is real. And if you are a survivor, it is triggering.

I’m two episodes in and I’ve cried a lot. I’ve had to stop it, breathe and do coping techniques I have not had to even think about in more than a decade. I texted my friend who is a counselor, who runs a DV shelter in Dallas. She immediately asked if I was triggered. I am. And then I get really mad that I am triggered.

But this show is needed. It was needed a decade ago, two decades ago. There’s still a stigma about DV. “Oh but you don’t have bruises? Did he hit you? So then why did you stay? You stayed with him that long?” All the questions; all the judgement.

In the first episode, the character says “I can’t take space at a shelter away from someone who needs it, not from fake abuse.” Fake Abuse: what unfortunately a lot of people still associate forms of abuse with. This show gives a glimpse into all forms of abuse; not just the physical. I’ve always said the bruises on the outside heal but the ones on the inside can last a lifetime. And as I get triggered watching this show, I realize how true that is.

I lived through 7 years of abuse; all real, none fake. I worked at a DV shelter for years. I saw and heard everything but fake abuse. This show is needed. If you are one of those who immediately questions how someone stays in an abusive relationship, someone who doesn’t believe when someone says they are being abused or you don’t think anything other than physical abuse is abuse-go watch this series now. Then become an advocate because unfortunately there are still so many victims living in fear, suffering in silence. And as this shows puts on full blast-it’s not just that easy to leave. You will see the burdens and you will see how messed up the system is and you will maybe, just maybe, understand a glimpse into why it takes on average 7 times before a victim finally can leave.

People are still dying at the hands of someone they love, trust, and then nothing happens. It’s heartbreaking. I think I got out of DV because it was so heartbreaking. It takes a lot out of you. I thought I was done being heartbroken by my abuser but then I was heartbroken too many times seeing kids come into our shelter beaten, scared, hearing women put themselves down because that’s all they’ve been told and that’s all they believe so then sometimes they left us and went back to him; it was exhausting so I left it. And now some days, I feel like I abandoned them too.

Go watch this show. If you are a survivor, be warned; you may be triggered. And if you are-it’s ok. Breathe, you are safe, you are out and you did what you had to do to survive-always remember that.